Each quarter, I get Cowley, a small publication from the Society of St. John the Evangelist (SSJE). This quarter’s edition is part of a Chaos Better series. It aims to “sit with what is hard: those places where we are struggling, whether on a personal, interpersonal, or global level.” The title alone grabbed my attention. There are ways to chaos better? Tell me all about it!
An article on patience by Curtis Almquist, SSJE said something that has stayed with me: “The scriptures consistently refer to us as ‘children of God’ (not ‘adults of God’).” I think this stood out to me so much because I’ve been aware of renewed invitation to playfulness lately and this quote made me wonder what other aspects of being a child I need to reconsider.
Children are Dependent
There’s a reason we claim children on our taxes. From the moment they are conceived, children are dependent on their parents. We can debate about when that dependence eases or ceases, but when I picture a child, I imagine one that knows their dependence and doesn’t fight it.
In our family, we joke about how much our middle daughter hates help. Even now, rather than offer to help her do something, I will say, "“I do it myself!” It’s an imitation of an oft-repeated line by her in her early years. If she actually wants help, I’ve learned she will ask for it. Otherwise, I stand on the sidelines.
Sometimes from the sidelines I’m smiling in amusement as she figures out exactly what to do and how to do it. Other times, I might wince as I see trouble on its way that she doesn’t see. I wonder if Jesus is looking at me the same way when I’m attempting to “do it myself!” I suspect there’s a bittersweet quality when I do get it right because it would have been easier if I’d just turned to him in the first place.
Where in your life are you trying to do it yourself? Can you imagine handing that thing to Jesus and doing it with him instead?
Children are Curious
I generally prefer middle schoolers and high schoolers to toddlers, but one of the things I love about little children is their curiosity. “What’s that?” was a common refrain for the early years with my daughters. Children don’t expect to know everything about the world, so they ask their questions openly and shamelessly.
When does that quality morph, change, disappear? At what point do we decide we should be experts on everything instead of showing our curiosity by leaning in and looking closer?
One thing that was exciting to me about our move to a new location was the existing garden. It offers me an opportunity to learn new things, even in my fifth decade. I find I’m curious about which plants like what location and what will flower or not.
Today is the feast day of St. Thomas - aka Doubting Thomas. Thomas wasn’t afraid to show Jesus his curiosity. Jesus didn’t shame Thomas for wanting to see how himself. Do you hold back from asking God your big and little questions?
Notice in the coming days whether you have questions that you swallow rather that ask. Can you imagine asking those questions instead?
Children are emotional
We all have emotions, whether we like it or not. At a young age, children are unafraid to let their feelings show. In fact, part of the work of childhood is learning to let feelings exist without letting them run the show. But I wonder if we go a step too far culturally.
I think I learned to push my emotions way down into my toes and pretend they weren’t there. What I’d prefer (and what I try to do now) is acknowledge what I’m feeling without letting those feelings be in control of my actions. I try to see my sadness, my hurt, my anger as other versions of myself. I see my emotion, acknowledge what she’s trying to tell me and incorporate that into how I choose to react.
When I think back to my daughters’ preschool years, the way they let their emotions out ultimately helped them learn to correctly balance them. By expressing their sadness, anger, fear or gladness, they let it out into the light and could then act on it or let it go.
Do you keep a stiff upper lip in prayer or share your whole complicated heart with God? Try turning to Jesus with your emotions as they show up in the coming days.
It’s surely no coincidence that we are described as children of God over and over. Of course we hope to mature and grow in our faith, but what lessons can we learn from children?
May we have wonder at God’s creation this week.
May we play in the water, the dirt, the sun.
May we look for help when we need it.
May we take naps, cry when we fall, laugh when we run and ask the questions on the tips of our tongues.
My fall 2024 groups are now posted on my website. Take a look and reach out with questions about groups or individual spiritual direction. Feel free to share far and wide.
Book Corner:
What I’ve Been Reading This Week
I’ve read some great books lately!
via eBook:
The Devotion of Suspect X by Keigo Higashino
I’m back for more Higashino mysteries. This one features a new character, Detective Galileo. I continue to appreciate the way the author tells the story and how he’s able to surprise me with plot twists. For fans of mysteries, Higashino is worth reading.
All the Sinners Bleed by S.A. Cosby
A friend recommended this book to me. My husband read Cosby’s previous book Razorblade Tears, but I’ve been hesitant to try both books simply because of their titles. I’m glad I trusted my friend’s recommendation. This book does contain some difficult content - there’s a school shooting in the second chapter - but the writing. The writing is excellent. And while there’s a mystery, there are also many layers in this book about living in a small southern town as a Black man, being a person of color in law enforcement and how people are shaped by their childhoods. This book isn’t for the faint of heart, but it’s so worth it if you can handle the content.
via Library Loan:
Sandwich by Catherine Newman
Two very different friends recommended this book to me within days of each other. I took note and ended up reading it in less than a day. I loved this book’s realism, story telling and authenticity. I could relate to so much of what the main character experienced. Like her, I’m an empty nester and her week of vacation with her adult children felt so achingly familiar. The author described so well what it feels like to be in a menopausal body. Part of me wants my family to read this and better understand me. Part of me is afraid to even suggest it.
May we try to be childlike without being childish this week.
Blessings upon you,
Shannon
What a beautiful post, friend. I love this framing and this invitation to navigate life and faith a different way. I’ll be thinking about these ideas as I prepare to go on our big, stretching trip next week.
Love that you loved Sandwich.