As I shared last week, I am working my way towards developing a Rule of Life that helps guide me to be more of who I want to be. I long to live a just, faithful, generous, simple life in community. The five components of Rule may seem easy to execute at first glance, but I am finding challenges when I move beyond a surface level with each part of the Rule.
Today, I’d like to ponder what living a simple life means and how to use simplicity as a guideline for decision making.
When we moved into our current home eight years ago (before I had ever heard of a Rule of Life), a large part of that decision was a desire for simplicity. Not necessarily simplicity in the home itself (it was larger than our previous house and also older - more to care for and more care needed), but simplicity in our lives. Before that move, we were across town from both of our daughters’ high schools. That resulted in hours spent in the car, many of which I spent thinking, “I could be doing something productive right now instead of sitting in traffic!” We moved to a home that was closer to both high schools and closer to my husband’s work.
Simple? Yes and No. We left a part of town that had been our home for over a decade. We lost neighbors. We lost our neighborhood. We lost community in some ways, while moving closer to our church and finding community in other ways. We simplified our weekly routes to school and my husband’s work, while my own work turned into a half hour trek instead of a five minute one. Our teenage drivers had shorter commutes, but had to navigate traffic on a busy street that borders our property.
I find that achieving simplicity isn’t as easy as it sounds.
In December 2023, our real estate agent reached out to say that a potential buyer for our house had contacted her several times— were we interested? We spent some time pondering our interest level. It made sense in many ways: we were recent empty nesters, we had a bigger house than we needed, we might be able to sell our house without ever putting in on the market. After some negotiation, we made the jump, selling our house with no real idea of what came next. Would we rent? Would we buy? What part of town did we want to live in? What size house did we want and need?
We didn’t necessarily make the decision to move out of a desire for simplicity - this Rule is my own, not my husband’s, not our family’s - but out of a desire to honor this next phase in our lives.
For a month that seemed much longer than one month, we looked at house after house. We visited houses north of town, east of town, west of town. We narrowed our focus over time, but not in the way we anticipated. This house hunt was less about a particular part of town than certain characteristics. My shorthand was that I wanted less lawn, more trees.
After visiting one brand new house in a part of town we liked, I tried to convince myself it was the right choice. It was a well made house that would be easy to care for. (Simple) It was energy efficient. (Just) We knew a few neighbors. (Community) But was a brand new house really the simplest way for us to live? Did we need (or want) a living room that was more showy than cozy? Could we picture our family there? Was it generous to buy near the top of our budget? We ultimately decided this wasn’t the house for us.
We kept looking, but we were looking on the clock. At some point, we would need to shift our focus to finding a rental if we couldn’t find a house to buy. I was reaching the end of my rope. I texted my spiritual direction cohort to ask for prayer: “Friends, I would love some prayer. We have seen dozens of houses and still don’t have a clear direction for where to move when May arrives. I am growing weary of the tension and the searching. Could you pray for me to continue to wait and trust?” Two days later we put an offer on a house.
In some ways, it wasn’t what we had imagined. It’s small and we have a large-ish family. It’s older than our current home. There’s no dishwasher. But… it’s on four beautiful acres situated minutes away from one of the best parks in town. It’s walking distance from the home of a dear friend and her family. It’s a space and place that immediately prompted Jason and I both to dream about what it might hold for us. When we entered this house, we both felt and imagined it as a place for us. It seemed, in fact, that God had brought us on a roundabout path to this exact destination.
Will this house become a home where I can live a just, faithful, generous, simple life in community? I believe so, but it will take time to get there. And in order to get to that simple life, a lot of work is required. To achieve simplicity, I must assess what I have and what I need. This has meant going through my closet and bookshelves again and again. It has meant weekly trips to Goodwill and McKay’s (our local used bookstore) to hand off things we no longer need. I have decision fatigue nearly daily, but I’ve learned to do what I can each day and rest when my mind and body require it.
What I want to convey is that adhering to a Rule of Life is not easy for me. Aspects of my Rule seem to conflict with each other. I find myself wondering if the simple path of taking items to Goodwill is also the just path. Would it be better to find individuals who can use the items we no longer need? Yes. Do I have time to do that with each item? No, I don’t.
I could let this paralyze me, but I’m trying instead to move towards this specific piece of land that God has brought us to. Aiming for a simple life is a countercultural thing. The world tells me I need more, more, more. My heart tells me to let go of the dead weight and find freedom. My Rule encourages me to trust in the slow, steady work of God.
Book Corner:
What I’ve Been Reading Lately
via eBook:
Magical Midlife Madness and Magical Midlife Dating by KF Breene
These books are just what I need right now. Jessie is a great protagonist. It’s refreshing to have a grown woman encounter magic after she is mature and knows herself. Who doesn't love a woman who chooses to keep her middle aged looking body when offered youth? (Although I'm totally with her on letting the magic make my body *feel* young again. Oh to have joints that don't complain!) As you might imagine, I don’t have a great deal of time for reading between packing and planning a move. These books are an easy and delightful escape.
You don’t have to upend your life or move across the city to find simplicity. What are ways you are choosing a simple life right now?
May we have the time and space for the most important things this Holy Week.
Love,
Shannon
Wonderful news Shannon. I’m so happy for you to have found your new home and all the dreams it holds for you and Jason 😊
this is a great series - thanks for letting us see into some of your thinking as you engage the Rule.